Buttermilk Crackers

 

You're probably already thinking I'm crackers for suggesting you bake your own crackers but hey, maybe I am.  Once you try these Buttermilk Crackers though, you'll be on board.

You're thinking, huh?  Just swing out to the darn grocery store and pick up a flippin' box of crackers, whaddya need to make your own for?!

Several reasons, really. 

First, you can use up any buttermilk that's about to take a turn. 

I'm bad about leftovers and generally terrible about making sure I use up stuff.  Maybe you're the same.  So, this becomes a point of pride:  "hey look, finally, I used something up!" 

Buttermilk though, I am pretty good at using, as evidenced by the numerous posts here that involve buttermilk.

Second, crackers overall are delightful.  Right?  Right.  Especially with cheese.  And with the popularity of charcuterie boards still raging, again, homemade Buttermilk Crackers on yours is big time point of pride:  "hey look, I actually made these myself!" 

"Yes, me, I made crackers!" 

"I know, right?  I'm so swanky!"

"Right?!  I throw the best soirées."

Third, these little numbers are freakin' scrumptious, just even on their own.  And happily, this recipe makes a bunch.  Too, they keep for several days.  And!  You can freeze them!

That was a lot of bonus points under "third."
 

Start to finish, these take about an hour and a half so if you've got surprise guests on their way, you can impress them with freshly made crackers! 

But in total,  how cool is it to be able to make your own crackers?!

You probably still think I'm bonkers but I'm telling you, these are worth the minimal effort that they take and assured, you're gonna love 'em.  Mike did -- he couldn't stop himself. 

Mostly though, you'll be so proud of yourself.

Crackers, sure, are meant to be best supporting actor and while there's a minute amount of butter, no oil, therefore they're not greasy, don't take any of that to mean these are bland and flavorless.  Hardly.

Plus, I have yet to find anything these Buttermilk Crackers are not tasty with.  Dips?  Yeah.  Cheese?  Omg, of course.  Meats, spreads...any cracker scenario....uh huh, yep, bring it on.

And considering they're so dang simple to make, your excuses are moot.

You can surely make these by hand but I drag out the mixer* to make life that much more carefree.

Toss the self-rising flour* into the mixer bowl along with the salt and pepper (and for fun, other spices if you'd like but try these as-written first), give it a quick mix around. 

Sorry this is totally out of focus.  It was the best of the ones I took though.

If you don't have self-rising flour, you can make it yourself.  Scale up or down as needed:  1 cup (120 g)  of all-purpose flour, 1 1/2 teaspoons (6 g) of baking powder, and 1/4 teaspoon (0.65 g of fine sea) salt.  Check and mark.

With the mixer running on low, toss in chunks of butter and stir that around until it looks sandy-ish. 

You can see the grainy flour here as I add the buttermilk in.

Pour in the buttermilk.  Whirl that briefly until a dough forms, dump that dough into a piece of plastic wrap, form it into a solid mass, then chill it for an hour in the fridge.

Dough coming together...

...and wrapped in plastic.

When it's cracker time, tear off a big sheet of parchment paper* and dust it with more self-rising flour.  Whip out your trusty rolling pin,* unwrap the dough, slice it in half or thirds to make it even easier, then roll it out directly on the paper.

Key to these Buttermilk Crackers being all they can be for you:  rolling the dough out so paper thin you can see through it.  Get it ridiculously thin, then give it a few more roll-outs to be extra extra thin.

Crispy is king here so trust me, get that dough shockingly, second-guess-yourself thin, especially the middle.

Dock the whole piece of dough with a fork then roll a pizza wheel* or run a sharp knife through to slice the cracker shapes.  Or leave it whole and break it up after baking.  However you want.  You could use a cookie cutter* too I imagine.

Rolled, docked, cut.  Let's bake.

Sprinkle with a bit more salt then lift the whole sheet of parchment, lay it onto a large baking sheet,* and off to the oven we go.

Again, I am a bake-one-sheet-at-a-time person for the best results and I will encourage you to do the same with this recipe.

Here's partly why:  the bake time.  I've had them ready at sixteen, eighteen minutes yet other times it's like twenty five or more....it depends on how brown and crispy you'd like them, how your oven is feeling that day, and how thinly you've rolled the dough.

Keep an eye on them and yank 'em out when they meet your desired shade of golden.

Let them cool,* repeat with any remaining dough (or freeze the dough), and it is par-taaay time.

If you freeze the crackers themselves, you can toss them in the oven or toaster oven to bring them back to freshly crisp if they seem freezer-dull.

Par-taaaay!

Tellin' ya, homemade crackers, especially these Buttermilk Crackers, are, and I am fully nodding as I type this, genuinely worthy.

*The stand mixers, self-rising flour, parchment paper, rolling pin, pizza wheel, cookie cutters, baking sheets, and cooling racks are Amazon affiliate links.  Happy baking, thanks!  Please see the "info" tab for more, well, info.